Do You Not Want Allah to Forgive You?

My Dear Readers,

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.
May the Peace, Mercy and Blessings of Allah be upon you.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ، وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ، وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا، وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا. مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ. وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ.

أَمَّا بَعْدُ:

There are certain sentences that do not leave us. We hear many words in life. Some are forgotten before the day ends. Some remain for a week. Some become part of our inner weather. But a few sentences enter the heart and stay there as a mirror.

My late Shaykh would often advise us — my wife and I among others — to forgive all people. He would remind us of the practice associated with Ḥaḍrat Khwāja Awais al-Qarnī رضي الله عنه: not to go to sleep while carrying resentment against the creation of Allah.

Let me be careful here, because carelessness in religious speech is not piety. I am not presenting this nightly practice as a Prophetic hadith. I am telling you what my Shaykh taught us as a spiritual practice. As for the rank of Awais al-Qarnī رضي الله عنه, that is established in Sahih Muslim, where Rasoolullah ﷺ spoke of him and said:

لَوْ أَقْسَمَ عَلَى اللهِ لَأَبَرَّهُ، فَإِنِ اسْتَطَعْتَ أَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرَ لَكَ فَافْعَلْ

“If he were to take an oath by Allah, Allah would fulfil it for him; so if you are able to ask him to seek forgiveness for you, then do so.”
Sahih Muslim 2542c. (Sunnah)

So the lesson is not built on exaggeration. It is built on a sound truth: that the people of Allah were people whose hearts were not narrow prisons. They did not sleep every night polishing their grievances. They did not build their identity around being wronged. They lived with Allah, and because they lived with Allah, they learned to release people to Allah.

One day, half joking and half complaining, I asked my Shaykh:

“How often should we forgive others, especially those who frequently wrong us?”

He became solemn.

Then he replied with words that still give goosebumps to my wife and me:

“As often as you want Allah to forgive you.”

This was not a clever answer. It was not a slogan. It was a wound and a cure at the same time.

Because the Qur’an asks the same question.

Allah says:

وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُو۟لُوا۟ ٱلْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَٱلسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوٓا۟ أُو۟لِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ

 وَٱلْمَسَـٰكِينَ وَٱلْمُهَـٰجِرِينَ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ ۖ

 وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟ ۗ

 أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌ

“Let them pardon and overlook. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”
Surah al-Nūr, 24:22.  

This verse is an ocean.

Allah does not merely command forgiveness. He asks a question that should unsettle every heart:

Do you not love that Allah should forgive you?

Of course we do.

We want Allah to forgive the sins no one else knows. We want Allah to forgive the sins we ourselves cannot bear to remember. We want Allah to forgive the sins we repeated after promising never to repeat them. We want Allah to forgive the coldness, the arrogance, the sharp words, the hidden envy, the laziness in worship, the private disobedience, the public image, the thoughts we would be ashamed for people to see.

Then how can I ask Allah for endless forgiveness while I measure forgiveness to others with a trembling scale?

How can I say, “Ya Allah, forgive me again,” while saying about another servant of Allah, “I will never forgive them”?

The first mirror: I am only human

My dear brothers and sisters,

There is a sentence we hear often:

“I am only human.”

Sometimes it is said with humility. A person slips, feels shame, and says, “I am only human,” meaning: I am weak, I need tawbah, I must repair what I have broken.

That is a good use of the sentence.

But sometimes it is said in another way. A person becomes angry, wounds someone, refuses to apologize, keeps resentment alive, and then says, “I am only human,” as though being human were a permission slip for harshness.

That is not a good use of the sentence.

To be human is not to be excused from character. To be human is to be invited into character.

Allah says:

وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ وَحَمَلْنَـٰهُمْ فِى ٱلْبَرِّ وَٱلْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَـٰهُم مِّنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ وَفَضَّلْنَـٰهُمْ عَلَىٰ كَثِيرٍۢ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًۭا

“We have certainly honoured the children of Adam…”
Surah al-Isrāʾ, 17:70.  

So humanity begins with karāmah — honour.

But the Qur’an is also honest:

يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمْ ۚ وَخُلِقَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنُ ضَعِيفًۭا

“Allah intends to lighten for you, and the human being was created weak.”
Surah al-Nisāʾ, 4:28.  

And Allah says:

 إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ خُلِقَ هَلُوعًا

“Indeed, the human being was created restless and anxious.”
Surah al-Maʿārij, 70:19. 

This is not an insult. It is a diagnosis.

The Qur’an is telling us: know your material. Know your weakness. Know your haste. Know your fear. Know your anger. Know your nafs when it starts to behave as though it is self-sufficient.

But a diagnosis is not an excuse. It is the beginning of treatment.

So when someone says, “I am only human,” the Qur’an replies: yes — and because you are human, you must seek Allah, restrain the nafs, soften the heart, repent, forgive, and remember.

The word الإِنْسَان

The Arabic word for the human being is:

الإِنْسَان — al-insān

It is a word full of tenderness and warning.

The scholars of Arabic discussed its roots and shades. Some connected it to الإِنس — al-ins, human beings, especially as distinct from الجِنّ — al-jinn, the hidden beings. Some connected it to الأُنْس — al-uns, companionship, familiarity, warmth, the opposite of estrangement and loneliness. Classical works also discuss the explanation that الإِنْسَان is connected to النِّسْيَان — al-nisyān, forgetfulness, and mention the statement attributed to Ibn ʿAbbās رضي الله عنهما: “The human being was called insān because he was entrusted with a covenant, then he forgot.” Lisān al-ʿArab discusses these shades, including the relation of insān to insiyān and the meaning of uns as the opposite of waḥshah. (Islam Web)

This distinction matters.

Beautiful meanings do not need to be forced into the highest category in order to be useful. Qur’an is Qur’an. Sound hadith is sound hadith. Linguistic reflection is linguistic reflection. Wisdom has ranks.

But as a reflection, this is very powerful.

The human being stands between uns and nisyān. He is made for warmth, but he forgets. She longs for love, but forgets to forgive. We want mercy for ourselves, but forget to give it to others.

The Qur’an says of Sayyiduna Adam عليه السلام:

وَلَقَدْ عَهِدْنَآ إِلَىٰٓ ءَادَمَ مِن قَبْلُ فَنَسِىَ وَلَمْ نَجِدْ لَهُۥ عَزْمًۭا

“We had already made a covenant with Adam before, but he forgot, and We did not find firm resolve in him.”
Surah Ṭā Hā, 20:115. 

This is the great human story.

We are given a trust, and we forget We are shown mercy, and we forget to show mercy. We are forgiven, and we forget to forgive. We are loved by Allah beyond measure, and we forget how to love His creation.

So the human being needs dhikr or Reminder/Remembrance.

To be human is not never to forget. To be human is to return when we forget.

Rasoolullah ﷺ and the true meaning of being human

Rasoolullah ﷺ once forgot in prayer. When he was reminded, he said:

إِنَّهُ لَوْ حَدَثَ فِي الصَّلَاةِ شَيْءٌ لَنَبَّأْتُكُمْ بِهِ، وَلَكِنْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِثْلُكُمْ، أَنْسَى كَمَا تَنْسَوْنَ، فَإِذَا نَسِيتُ فَذَكِّرُونِي

“If anything had changed in the prayer, I would have informed you. But I am only a human being like you. I forget as you forget. So when I forget, remind me.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 401. (Sunnah)

How beautiful this is.

The Prophet ﷺ did not use being human as a shield against correction. He did not say, “I am human, so do not remind me.” He said, “If I forget, remind me.”

This should change the way we use the phrase “I am only human.”

In the Prophetic way, being human means being able to accept reminder. Being human means not becoming arrogant when corrected. Being human means repairing what was missed. So when we say, “I am only human,” it should mean:

I can make a mistake, yes. But I can apologize. I can forget, yes. But I can remember. I can become angry, yes. But I can restrain my anger. I can be hurt, yes. But I can ask Allah to purify the wound.

Worship enters the wound

Allah says:

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

“I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.”
Surah al-Dhāriyāt, 51:56.  

Worship is not only prayer on the mat, though prayer is essential. Worship is not only fasting, zakah, hajj, Qur’an, dhikr, and duʿā, though these are pillars and lights.

Worship also enters the voice. Worship enters the face. Worship enters the home. Worship enters the classroom. Worship enters the family gathering. Worship enters the WhatsApp message. Worship enters the moment when someone has offended us and the nafs is asking permission to become ugly.

Allah explained to us the nature of Rasoolullah ﷺ by saying:

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍۢ

“And truly, you are upon great character.”
Surah al-Qalam, 68:4. 

And it is narrated:

لَمْ يَكُنْ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ فَاحِشًا وَلَا مُتَفَحِّشًا، وَإِنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ: «إِنَّ خِيَارَكُمْ أَحَاسِنُكُمْ أَخْلَاقًا»

“Rasoolullah ﷺ was not fahishan (crude, vulgar, indecent), nor did he behave like that, and he used to say: ‘The best of you are the best in character.’”
Sahih al-Bukhari 6035. (Sunnah)

This is a mirror. If my religion does not improve my character, something is still unfinished in me. If my knowledge makes me arrogant, it has not become wisdom. If my worship does not soften the way I treat the weak, the young, the elderly, the spouse, the child, the worker, the stranger, then my worship is still asking to become deeper.

Anger is human; surrendering to anger is not Prophetic

Anger may come. The issue is not whether anger visits. The issue is whether anger becomes the ruler.

A man asked Rasoolullah ﷺ for advice:

أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ ﷺ: أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ: «لَا تَغْضَبْ». فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا، قَالَ: «لَا تَغْضَبْ»

“A man said to the Prophet ﷺ: ‘Advise me.’ He said: ‘Do not become angry.’ The man repeated his request several times, and he ﷺ said: ‘Do not become angry.’”
Sahih al-Bukhari 6116. (Sunnah)

This does not mean we will never feel anger. Feeling anger is not always in our control. But feeding anger, obeying anger, justifying anger, and letting anger become our master — that is what destroys the human being.

Rasoolullah ﷺ also said:

لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ

“The strong one is not the one who overpowers others; the strong one is the one who controls himself at the time of anger.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 6114. (Sunnah)

This changes the meaning of strength.

Strength is not the louder voice. Strength is not the sharper reply. Strength is not frightening people into silence. Strength is not making everyone in the house walk carefully around one’s mood. Strength is mastery over the nafs when the nafs wants to explode. So when a person says, “I shouted because I am only human,” the Sunnah replies: yes, and because you are human, you must learn strength. The higher human is not the one who never feels heat inside. The higher human is the one who does not let that heat burn the house down.

Forgive and overlook: ʿafw and ṣafḥ

The Qur’an uses two powerful words:

العَفْو — al-ʿafw: pardon, letting go, wiping away the claim.

الصَّفْح — al-ṣafḥ: overlooking, turning the page, refusing to keep reopening the wound.

Allah says:

وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟

“Let them pardon and overlook (in modern language 'Let it slide'.”
Surah al-Nūr, 24:22.  

This verse was not revealed into a world where no one had hurt anyone. It was revealed into real human pain.

This is why forgiveness is not cheap. Forgiveness is not pretending that the wound did not happen. Forgiveness is not calling oppression kindness. Forgiveness is not allowing a person to harm again and again while we call it sabr. Forgiveness is not the death of boundaries.

Allah says:

وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍۢ سَيِّئَةٌۭ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

“The recompense of a wrong is its like; but whoever pardons and makes repair, his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not love the wrongdoers.”
Surah al-Shūrā, 42:40.  

Notice: pardons and makes repair.

Not pardons and enables corruption. Not pardons and destroys himself. Not pardons and abandons justice where justice is needed.

Allah commands both justice and iḥsān:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱلْبَغْىِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

“Allah commands justice, iḥsān, and giving to relatives, and He forbids indecency, wrongdoing, and transgression. He instructs you so perhaps you will remember.”
Surah al-Naḥl, 16:90. 

Islam is not sentimental chaos. It is mercy with truth. It is forgiveness with wisdom. It is justice with restraint.

Sometimes forgiving means restoring the relationship. Sometimes forgiving means letting go of hatred while keeping a safe distance. Sometimes forgiving means making duʿā for someone without returning to the same harmful pattern. Sometimes forgiving means handing the matter to Allah because the heart is tired of carrying it.

But in all cases, the believer must be careful not to make resentment a part of themselves.

The people Allah loves

Allah praises:

ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِى ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَـٰظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

“Those who spend in ease and hardship, who restrain anger and pardon people; and Allah loves the muḥsinīn.”
Surah Āl ʿImrān, 3:134.  

Notice the order.

The Qur’an does not deny anger. It says: restrain it. The Qur’an does not deny that people will hurt us. It says: pardon them. Then it lifts the matter into love: Allah loves the muḥsinīn. Not merely the people who were right. Not merely the people who had the sharper argument. Not merely the people who could prove that they were wronged.

Allah loves the people who do what is beautiful before Him.

And Allah says:

وَلَا تَسْتَوِى ٱلْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا ٱلسَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُۥ عَدَٰوَةٌۭ كَأَنَّهُۥ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌۭ

“Goodness and evil are not equal. Repel with what is better, and then the one between whom and you there was enmity may become as though he were a close friend.”
Surah Fuṣṣilat, 41:34.  

This is one of the most difficult verses to practise. It is easy to repay coldness with coldness. It is easy to repay insult with insult. It is easy to give people the version of ourselves they “deserve.” But the Qur’an asks for something higher.

It asks us not merely to react, but to respond with Allah in mind.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هٰذَا، وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ؛ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.

Second Khutbah

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَىٰ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ، وَعَلَىٰ آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ.

My dear brothers and sisters,

If there is one thing I want us to take from this khutbah, it is this:

A heart that wants Allah’s forgiveness cannot afford withholding forgiveness from others.

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ

“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 13. (Sunnah)

What do I love for myself?

I love to be understood. I love to be forgiven. I love for my worst moment not to become my whole identity. I love for Allah to cover my faults. I love for people to remember my good and not only my failure. Then being human means I must try to give others some of what I ask for myself.

This does not mean all behaviour is acceptable. It does not mean we lose discernment. It does not mean the wound is imaginary. But it does mean that the heart of a believer cannot be built on selfishness.

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

يَا عَائِشَةُ، إِنَّ اللهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ، وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ، وَمَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ

“O ʿĀ’ishah, Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, and what He does not give for anything else.”
Sahih Muslim 2593. (Sunnah)

This hadith should enter our homes.

Allah loves gentleness. Not humiliation. Not sarcasm. Not constant correction. Not emotional roughness. Not feeling superior to others. Not judging them for their faults. Not the use of religion to crush another person’s heart.

Gentleness is not weakness. Gentleness is disciplined strength. It is the ability to handle a soul without bruising it unnecessarily.

And Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ لَا يُرْحَمُ

“Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”
Sahih al-Bukhari 6013. (Sunnah)

To me, this is frightening.

We ask Allah for mercy every day. But what mercy do we show? To children? To students? To spouses? To parents? To workers? To those slower than us? To those who disappoint us? To those whose wounds make them difficult?

The human being, الإِنْسَان, is meant to be a place of uns, not waḥshah — comfort, not estrangement.

A person should feel more at ease after meeting us, not more wounded.

Forgive and forget?

People often say, “Forgive and forget.”

But the human mind is not a machine from which memories can simply be deleted. The Qur’an is not asking us to pretend.So what should we forget?

We should forget the desire to punish. We should forget the pleasure of replaying the wound. We should forget the need to mention the mistake again and again after it has been repaired. We should forget the false sweetness of resentment.

And what should we remember?

We should remember Allah. We should remember our own sins. We should remember that we too need forgiveness. We should remember that the heart will meet Allah. We should remember that pride is a dangerous burden to carry into the grave.

The human being often does the opposite. He forgets Allah and remembers injury. That is nisyān in the wrong direction.

The Qur’an calls him back.

The best sinners are those who return

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

كُلُّ بَنِي آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ، وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

“Every child of Adam makes mistakes, and the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent.”
Sunan Ibn Mājah 4251; graded ḥasan. (Sunnah)

This hadith does not glorify sin. It glorifies tawbah. The best are not those who pretend they never fall. The best are those who return quickly, honestly, repeatedly.

So if I become angry, I should repent. If I wound someone, I should apologize. If I carry resentment, I should ask Allah to cleanse it. If I cannot yet forgive fully today, I should at least stop feeding the hatred. If I cannot yet love, I should at least stop poisoning the heart. If I cannot embrace, I should at least make duʿā.

This too is a beginning.

A final reflection

There is a kind of religiousness that can speak of Allah but remain harsh with people. It can quote Qur’an but refuse to forgive. It can defend the Sunnah but ignore the tenderness of Rasoolullah ﷺ. It can speak of truth while losing beauty. It can demand mercy from Allah while offering severity to everyone else.

This is not the fullness of being insān. The true insān remembers that he is weak, so he does not become arrogant.

He remembers that he forgets, so he keeps returning to dhikr. He remembers that he sins, so he makes tawbah. He remembers that he needs forgiveness, so he forgives. He remembers that Allah is Gentle, so he becomes gentle. He remembers that Allah is Merciful, so he shows mercy. He remembers that Allah honoured the children of Adam, so he does not humiliate them.

“I am only human” should not be a shield for the nafs. It should be a doorway to humility.

Yes, I am human.

I forget. I become weak. I become hasty. I become anxious. I become wounded.

But I am also honoured by Allah.

I am guided by revelation. I am taught by Rasoolullah ﷺ. I am invited to taqwa. I am capable of tawbah. I am capable of ʿafw. I am capable of ṣafḥ. I am capable of becoming a source of uns, not waḥshah — comfort, not estrangement.

So the next time anger says, “I am only human,” let the heart answer:

Then be human in the way Allah intended.

Be the human who remembers. Be the human who repents. Be the human who restrains anger. Be the human who forgives. Be the human who loves for others what he loves for himself. Be the human through whom another heart feels safe.

And when the nafs asks, “How often must I forgive?”

Let the answer of my Shaykh return:

As often as you want Allah to forgive you.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا، وَطَهِّرْ قُلُوبَنَا مِنَ الْغِلِّ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ، وَمِنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ الَّذِينَ تُحِبُّهُمْ.

O Allah, forgive us and our brothers and sisters. Purify our hearts from resentment. Make us among those who pardon people, and among the people of beautiful conduct whom You love.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ بُيُوتَنَا بُيُوتَ رِفْقٍ، وَأَلْسِنَتَنَا أَلْسِنَةَ صِدْقٍ، وَقُلُوبَنَا قُلُوبَ رَحْمَةٍ، وَأَخْلَاقَنَا أَخْلَاقًا تُرْضِيكَ عَنَّا.

O Allah, make our homes homes of gentleness, our tongues tongues of truth, our hearts hearts of mercy, and our character pleasing to You.

آمِين يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.

والله أعلم
Wa Allahu Aʿlam.