As Often as You Want Allah to Forgive You

My dear readers,

السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ

Al-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

May the peace, mercy, and blessings of Allah be upon you.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Bismi Allāhi al-Raḥmāni al-Raḥīm.

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ نَحْمَدُهُ، وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ، وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ، وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا، وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا. مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ، وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ. وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ، وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ.

Al-ḥamdu lillāhi naḥmaduhu, wa-nastaʿīnuhu, wa-nastaghfiruhu, wa-naʿūdhu bi-llāhi min shurūri anfusinā wa-min sayyiʾāti aʿmālinā. Man yahdihi Allāhu fa-lā muḍilla lahu, wa-man yuḍlil fa-lā hādiya lahu. Wa-ashhadu an lā ilāha illā Allāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu, wa-ashhadu anna Muḥammadan ʿabduhu wa-rasūluh.

أَمَّا بَعْدُ:

Ammā baʿd.

The Sentence That Became a Mirror

There are certain sentences that do not leave us. We hear many words in life. Some are forgotten before the day ends. Some remain for a week. Some become part of our inner weather. But a few enter the heart and remain there as a mirror.

My late Shaykh would often advise us—my wife and I among others—to forgive all people. He would remind us of the practice associated with Ḥaḍrat Khwāja Awais al-Qarnī رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ: not to go to sleep while carrying resentment against the creation of Allah.

Let me be careful here, because carelessness in religious speech is not piety. I am not presenting this nightly practice as a Prophetic hadith. I am telling you what my Shaykh taught us as a spiritual practice. As for the rank of Awais al-Qarnī رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ, that is established in Sahih Muslim, where Rasoolullah ﷺ spoke of him and said:

لَوْ أَقْسَمَ عَلَى اللَّهِ لَأَبَرَّهُ، فَإِنِ اسْتَطَعْتَ أَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرَ لَكَ فَافْعَلْ

Law aqsama ʿalā Allāhi la-abarrahu; fa-in istaṭaʿta an yastaghfira laka fa-fʿal.

“If he were to take an oath by Allah, Allah would fulfil it for him; so if you are able to ask him to seek forgiveness for you, then do so.”

Sahih Muslim 2542c.

The lesson is not built on exaggeration. It rests on a sound truth: the people of Allah did not make their hearts into narrow prisons. They did not spend each night polishing their grievances or build their identities around being wronged. They lived with Allah, and because they lived with Allah, they learned to release people to Allah.

One day, half-joking and half-complaining, I asked my Shaykh, “How often should we forgive others, especially those who frequently wrong us?”

He became solemn. Then he replied with words that still give my wife and me goosebumps:

“As often as you want Allah to forgive you.”

This was not a clever answer or a slogan but a direct, life-changing lesson from the Qur'an itself:

وَلَا يَأْتَلِ أُو۟لُوا۟ ٱلْفَضْلِ مِنكُمْ وَٱلسَّعَةِ أَن يُؤْتُوٓا۟ أُو۟لِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَٱلْمَسَـٰكِينَ وَٱلْمُهَـٰجِرِينَ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟ ۗ أَلَا تُحِبُّونَ أَن يَغْفِرَ ٱللَّهُ لَكُمْ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ غَفُورٌۭ رَّحِيمٌ

Wa-lā yaʾtali ulū al-faḍli minkum wa-l-saʿati an yuʾtū ulī al-qurbā wa-l-masākīna wa-l-muhājirīna fī sabīli Allāh; wa-l-yaʿfū wa-l-yaṣfaḥū. A-lā tuḥibbūna an yaghfira Allāhu lakum? Wa-Allāhu ghafūrun raḥīm.

“Let them pardon and overlook. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Surah al-Nūr, 24:22.

This verse is an ocean.

Allah does not merely command forgiveness. He asks a question that should unsettle every heart: Do you not love that Allah should forgive you?

Of course we do.

We want Allah to forgive the sins no one else knows. We want Allah to forgive the sins we ourselves cannot bear to remember. We want Allah to forgive the sins we repeated after promising never to repeat them. We want Allah to forgive the coldness, the arrogance, the sharp words, the hidden envy, the laziness in worship, the private disobedience, the public image, and the thoughts we would be ashamed for people to see.

Then how can I ask Allah for endless forgiveness while measuring forgiveness to others with a trembling scale? How can I say, “Yā Allah, forgive me again,” while saying of another servant of Allah, “I will never forgive them”?

The First Mirror: “I Am Only Human”

My dear brothers and sisters,

There is a sentence we hear often: “I am only human.”

Sometimes it is said with humility. A person slips, feels shame, and says, “I am only human,” meaning: I am weak, I need tawbah, and I must repair what I have broken. That is a good use of the sentence.

But sometimes it is used differently. A person becomes angry, wounds someone, refuses to apologize, keeps resentment alive, and then says, “I am only human,” as though being human were a permission slip for harshness. That is not a good use of the sentence.

To be human is not to be excused from character. To be human is to be invited into character.

وَلَقَدْ كَرَّمْنَا بَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ وَحَمَلْنَـٰهُمْ فِى ٱلْبَرِّ وَٱلْبَحْرِ وَرَزَقْنَـٰهُم مِّنَ ٱلطَّيِّبَـٰتِ وَفَضَّلْنَـٰهُمْ عَلَىٰ كَثِيرٍۢ مِّمَّنْ خَلَقْنَا تَفْضِيلًۭا

Wa-laqad karramnā banī Ādama wa-ḥamalnāhum fī al-barri wa-l-baḥri wa-razaqnāhum mina al-ṭayyibāti wa-faḍḍalnāhum ʿalā kathīrin mimman khalaqnā tafḍīlā.

“We have certainly honoured the children of Adam…”

Surah al-Isrāʾ, 17:70.

Humanity begins with karāmah—honor. But the Qur’an is also honest:

يُرِيدُ ٱللَّهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمْ ۚ وَخُلِقَ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنُ ضَعِيفًۭا

Yurīdu Allāhu an yukhaffifa ʿankum; wa-khuliqa al-insānu ḍaʿīfā.

“Allah intends to lighten for you, and the human being was created weak.”

Surah al-Nisāʾ, 4:28.

And Allah says:

إِنَّ ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ خُلِقَ هَلُوعًا

Inna al-insāna khuliqa halūʿā.

“Indeed, the human being was created restless and anxious.”

Surah al-Maʿārij, 70:19.

This is not an insult. It is a diagnosis.

The Qur’an is telling us: know your material. Know your weakness, haste, fear, and anger. Know your nafs when it begins to behave as though it were self-sufficient.

But a diagnosis is not an excuse. It is the beginning of treatment. When someone says, “I am only human,” the Qur’an replies: yes—and because you are human, you must seek Allah, restrain the nafs, soften the heart, repent, forgive, and remember.

The Word الْإِنْسَانُ—al-Insān

The Arabic word for the human being is الْإِنْسَانُ—al-insān. It is a word full of tenderness and warning.

The scholars of Arabic discussed its roots and shades. Some connected it to الْإِنْسُ—al-ins, human beings, especially as distinct from الْجِنُّ—al-jinn, the hidden beings. Some connected it to الْأُنْسُ—al-uns, companionship, familiarity, and warmth—the opposite of estrangement and loneliness. Classical works also discuss the explanation that الْإِنْسَانُ is connected to النِّسْيَانُ—al-nisyān, forgetfulness—and mention the statement attributed to Ibn ʿAbbās رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُمَا: “The human being was called insān because he was entrusted with a covenant, then he forgot.” Lisān al-ʿArab discusses these shades, including the relation of insān to insiyān and the meaning of uns as the opposite of waḥshah.

This distinction matters. Beautiful meanings do not need to be forced into the highest category to be useful. Qur’an is Qur’an. Sound hadith is sound hadith. Linguistic reflection is linguistic reflection. Wisdom has ranks.

But as a reflection, this is powerful. The human being stands between uns and nisyān. He is made for warmth, but he forgets. She longs for love, but forgets to forgive. We want mercy for ourselves, but forget to give it to others.

The Qur’an says of Sayyiduna Adam عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ:

وَلَقَدْ عَهِدْنَآ إِلَىٰٓ ءَادَمَ مِن قَبْلُ فَنَسِىَ وَلَمْ نَجِدْ لَهُۥ عَزْمًۭا

Wa-laqad ʿahidnā ilā Ādama min qablu fa-nasiya wa-lam najid lahu ʿazmā.

“We had already made a covenant with Adam before, but he forgot, and We did not find firm resolve in him.”

Surah Ṭā Hā, 20:115.

This is the great human story. We are given a trust, and we forget. We are shown mercy, and we forget to show mercy. We are forgiven, and we forget to forgive. We are loved by Allah beyond measure, and we forget how to love His creation.

So the human being needs dhikr: reminder and remembrance. To be human is not never to forget. To be human is to return when we forget.

Rasoolullah ﷺ and the True Meaning of Being Human

Rasoolullah ﷺ once forgot in prayer. When he was reminded, he said:

إِنَّهُ لَوْ حَدَثَ فِي الصَّلَاةِ شَيْءٌ لَنَبَّأْتُكُمْ بِهِ، وَلَكِنْ إِنَّمَا أَنَا بَشَرٌ مِثْلُكُمْ، أَنْسَى كَمَا تَنْسَوْنَ، فَإِذَا نَسِيتُ فَذَكِّرُونِي

Innahu law ḥadatha fī al-ṣalāti shayʾun la-nabbaʾtukum bihi, wa-lākin innamā anā basharun mithlukum, ansā kamā tansawn; fa-idhā nasītu fa-dhakkirūnī.

“If anything had changed in the prayer, I would have informed you. But I am only a human being like you. I forget as you forget. So when I forget, remind me.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 401.

How beautiful this is.

The Prophet ﷺ did not use being human as a shield against correction. He did not say, “I am human, so do not remind me.” He said, “If I forget, remind me.”

This should change how we use the phrase “I am only human.” In the Prophetic way, being human means being able to accept a reminder, refusing arrogance when corrected, and repairing what was missed. When we say, “I am only human,” it should mean:

I can make a mistake, yes. But I can apologize. I can forget, yes. But I can remember. I can become angry, yes. But I can restrain my anger. I can be hurt, yes. But I can ask Allah to purify the wound.

Worship Enters the Wound

وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ

Wa-mā khalaqtu al-jinna wa-l-insa illā li-yaʿbudūn.

“I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.”

Surah al-Dhāriyāt, 51:56.

Worship is not only prayer on the mat, though prayer is essential. Worship is not only fasting, zakah, hajj, Qur’an, dhikr, and duʿā, though these are pillars and lights.

Worship also enters the voice. Worship enters the face. Worship enters the home, the classroom, the family gathering, and the WhatsApp message. Worship enters the moment when someone has offended us and the nafs is asking permission to become ugly.

Allah explained the nature of Rasoolullah ﷺ by saying:

وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍۢ

Wa-innaka la-ʿalā khuluqin ʿaẓīm.

“And truly, you are upon great character.”

Surah al-Qalam, 68:4.

And it is narrated:

لَمْ يَكُنْ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَاحِشًا وَلَا مُتَفَحِّشًا، وَإِنَّهُ كَانَ يَقُولُ: «إِنَّ خِيَارَكُمْ أَحَاسِنُكُمْ أَخْلَاقًا»

Lam yakun Rasūlu Allāhi ﷺ fāḥishan wa-lā mutafaḥḥishan, wa-innahu kāna yaqūlu: “Inna khiyārakum aḥāsinukum akhlāqā.”

“Rasoolullah ﷺ was not fahishan (crude, vulgar, indecent), nor did he behave like that, and he used to say: ‘The best of you are the best in character.’”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6035.

This is a mirror. If my religion does not improve my character, something is still unfinished in me. If my knowledge makes me arrogant, it has not become wisdom. If my worship does not soften the way I treat the weak, the young, the elderly, the spouse, the child, the worker, or the stranger, then my worship is still asking to become deeper.

Anger Is Human; Surrendering to Anger Is Not Prophetic

Anger may come. The issue is not whether anger visits. The issue is whether anger becomes the ruler.

A man asked Rasoolullah ﷺ for advice:

أَنَّ رَجُلًا قَالَ لِلنَّبِيِّ ﷺ: أَوْصِنِي. قَالَ: «لَا تَغْضَبْ». فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا، قَالَ: «لَا تَغْضَبْ»

Anna rajulan qāla li-l-Nabiyyi ﷺ: “Awṣinī.” Qāla: “Lā taghḍab.” Fa-raddada mirāran; qāla: “Lā taghḍab.”

“A man said to the Prophet ﷺ: ‘Advise me.’ He said: ‘Do not become angry.’ The man repeated his request several times, and he ﷺ said: ‘Do not become angry.’”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6116.

This does not mean we will never feel anger. Feeling anger is not always within our control. But feeding anger, obeying it, justifying it, and allowing it to become our master—that is what destroys the human being.

Rasoolullah ﷺ also said:

لَيْسَ الشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ، إِنَّمَا الشَّدِيدُ الَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ الْغَضَبِ

Laysa al-shadīdu bi-l-ṣuraʿati; innamā al-shadīdu alladhī yamliku nafsahu ʿinda al-ghaḍab.

“The strong one is not the one who overpowers others; the strong one is the one who controls himself at the time of anger.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6114.

This changes the meaning of strength.

Strength is not the louder voice, the sharper reply, frightening people into silence, or making everyone in the house walk carefully around one’s mood. Strength is mastery over the nafs when it wants to explode. When a person says, “I shouted because I am only human,” the Sunnah replies: yes, and because you are human, you must learn strength. Maturity is not never feeling heat inside. It is refusing to let that heat burn the house down.

Forgive and Overlook: ʿAfw and Ṣafḥ

The Qur’an uses two powerful words:

الْعَفْوُ—al-ʿafw: pardon, letting go, wiping away the claim.

الصَّفْحُ—al-ṣafḥ: overlooking, turning the page, refusing to keep reopening the wound.

Allah says:

وَلْيَعْفُوا۟ وَلْيَصْفَحُوٓا۟

Wa-l-yaʿfū wa-l-yaṣfaḥū.

“Let them pardon and overlook.”

Surah al-Nūr, 24:22.

In modern language: “Let it slide.”

This verse was not revealed into a world where no one had hurt anyone. It was revealed into real human pain.

This is why forgiveness is not cheap. Forgiveness is not pretending that the wound did not happen. It is not calling oppression kindness. It is not allowing a person to harm us again and again while we call it sabr. Forgiveness is not the death of boundaries.

وَجَزَٰٓؤُا۟ سَيِّئَةٍۢ سَيِّئَةٌۭ مِّثْلُهَا ۖ فَمَنْ عَفَا وَأَصْلَحَ فَأَجْرُهُۥ عَلَى ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلظَّـٰلِمِينَ

Wa-jazāʾu sayyiʾatin sayyiʾatun mithluhā; fa-man ʿafā wa-aṣlaḥa fa-ajruhu ʿalā Allāh. Innahu lā yuḥibbu al-ẓālimīn.

“The recompense of a wrong is its like; but whoever pardons and makes repair, his reward is with Allah. Indeed, He does not love the wrongdoers.”

Surah al-Shūrā, 42:40.

Notice: pardons and makes repair.

Not pardons and enables corruption. Not pardons and destroys himself. Not pardons and abandons justice where justice is needed.

Allah commands both justice and iḥsān:

إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ ٱلْفَحْشَآءِ وَٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱلْبَغْىِ ۚ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Inna Allāha yaʾmuru bi-l-ʿadli wa-l-iḥsāni wa-ītāʾi dhī al-qurbā wa-yanhā ʿani al-faḥshāʾi wa-l-munkari wa-l-baghy; yaʿiẓukum laʿallakum tadhakkarūn.

“Allah commands justice, iḥsān, and giving to relatives, and He forbids indecency, wrongdoing, and transgression. He instructs you so perhaps you will remember.”

Surah al-Naḥl, 16:90.

Islam is not sentimental chaos. It is mercy with truth, forgiveness with wisdom, and justice with restraint.

Sometimes forgiving means restoring the relationship. Sometimes it means letting go of hatred while keeping a safe distance. Sometimes it means making duʿā for someone without returning to the same harmful pattern. Sometimes it means handing the matter to Allah because the heart is tired of carrying it.

In every case, the believer must be careful not to make resentment part of the self.

The People Allah Loves

Allah praises:

ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِى ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَـٰظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

Alladhīna yunfiqūna fī al-sarrāʾi wa-l-ḍarrāʾi wa-l-kāẓimīna al-ghayẓa wa-l-ʿāfīna ʿani al-nās; wa-Allāhu yuḥibbu al-muḥsinīn.

“Those who spend in ease and hardship, who restrain anger and pardon people; and Allah loves the muḥsinīn.”

Surah Āl ʿImrān, 3:134.

Notice the order.

The Qur’an does not deny anger. It says: restrain it. The Qur’an does not deny that people will hurt us. It says: pardon them. Then it lifts the matter into love: Allah loves the muḥsinīn. Not merely the people who were right, had the sharper argument, or could prove that they were wronged.

Allah loves the people who do what is beautiful before Him.

And Allah says:

وَلَا تَسْتَوِى ٱلْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا ٱلسَّيِّئَةُ ۚ ٱدْفَعْ بِٱلَّتِى هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا ٱلَّذِى بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُۥ عَدَٰوَةٌۭ كَأَنَّهُۥ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيمٌۭ

Wa-lā tastawī al-ḥasanatu wa-lā al-sayyiʾah; idfaʿ bi-llatī hiya aḥsanu fa-idhā alladhī baynaka wa-baynahu ʿadāwatun ka-annahu waliyyun ḥamīm.

“Goodness and evil are not equal. Repel with what is better, and then the one between whom and you there was enmity may become as though he were a close friend.”

Surah Fuṣṣilat, 41:34.

This is one of the most difficult verses to practice. It is easy to repay coldness with coldness and insult with insult. It is easy to give people the version of ourselves they “deserve.” But the Qur’an asks for something higher. It asks us not merely to react, but to respond with Allah in mind.

أَقُولُ قَوْلِي هَٰذَا، وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللَّهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ؛ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ.

Aqūlu qawlī hādhā, wa-astaghfiru Allāha lī wa-lakum wa-li-sāʾiri al-muslimīn, fa-staghfirūhu; innahu huwa al-Ghafūru al-Raḥīm.

Second Khutbah

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ، وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَىٰ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ، وَعَلَىٰ آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ أَجْمَعِينَ.

Al-ḥamdu lillāhi Rabbi al-ʿālamīn, wa-l-ṣalātu wa-l-salāmu ʿalā Sayyidinā Muḥammadin, wa-ʿalā ālihi wa-aṣḥābihi ajmaʿīn.

My dear brothers and sisters,

If there is one thing I want us to take from this khutbah, it is this:

A heart that wants Allah’s forgiveness cannot afford to withhold forgiveness from others.

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ

Lā yuʾminu aḥadukum ḥattā yuḥibba li-akhīhi mā yuḥibbu li-nafsih.

“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 13.

What do I love for myself?

I love to be understood. I love to be forgiven. I love for my worst moment not to become my whole identity. I love for Allah to cover my faults. I love for people to remember my good and not only my failure. Being human, then, means that I must try to give others some of what I ask for myself.

This does not mean all behavior is acceptable. It does not mean we lose discernment or that the wound is imaginary. But it does mean that the heart of a believer cannot be built on selfishness.

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

يَا عَائِشَةُ، إِنَّ اللَّهَ رَفِيقٌ يُحِبُّ الرِّفْقَ، وَيُعْطِي عَلَى الرِّفْقِ مَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى الْعُنْفِ، وَمَا لَا يُعْطِي عَلَى مَا سِوَاهُ

Yā ʿĀʾishatu, inna Allāha rafīqun yuḥibbu al-rifqa wa-yuʿṭī ʿalā al-rifqi mā lā yuʿṭī ʿalā al-ʿunfi wa-mā lā yuʿṭī ʿalā mā siwāh.

“O ʿĀ’ishah, Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness. He gives for gentleness what He does not give for harshness, and what He does not give for anything else.”

Sahih Muslim 2593.

This hadith should enter our homes.

Allah loves gentleness. Not humiliation. Not sarcasm. Not constant correction. Not emotional roughness. Not feeling superior to others or judging them for their faults. Not using religion to crush another person’s heart.

Gentleness is not weakness. Gentleness is disciplined strength. It is the ability to handle a soul without bruising it unnecessarily.

And Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ لَا يُرْحَمُ

Man lā yarḥam lā yurḥam.

“Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”

Sahih al-Bukhari 6013.

To me, this is frightening.

We ask Allah for mercy every day. But what mercy do we show—to children, students, spouses, parents, workers, those slower than us, those who disappoint us, and those whose wounds make them difficult?

The human being, الْإِنْسَانُ, is meant to be a place of uns, not waḥshah—comfort, not estrangement. A person should feel more at ease after meeting us, not more wounded.

Forgive and Forget?

People often say, “Forgive and forget.”

But the human mind is not a machine from which memories can simply be deleted. The Qur’an is not asking us to pretend. So what should we forget?

We should forget the desire to punish, the pleasure of replaying the wound, the need to mention the mistake again and again after it has been repaired, and the false sweetness of resentment.

And what should we remember?

We should remember Allah. We should remember our own sins. We should remember that we, too, need forgiveness; that the heart will meet Allah; and that pride is a dangerous burden to carry into the grave.

The human being often does the opposite. He forgets Allah and remembers the injury. That is nisyān in the wrong direction. The Qur’an calls him back.

The Best Sinners Are Those Who Return

Rasoolullah ﷺ said:

كُلُّ بَنِي آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ، وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

Kullu banī Ādama khaṭṭāʾun, wa-khayru al-khaṭṭāʾīna al-tawwābūn.

“Every child of Adam makes mistakes, and the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent.”

Sunan Ibn Mājah 4251; graded ḥasan.

This hadith does not glorify sin. It glorifies tawbah. The best are not those who pretend they never fall. The best are those who return quickly, honestly, and repeatedly.

If I become angry, I should repent. If I wound someone, I should apologize. If I carry resentment, I should ask Allah to cleanse it. If I cannot yet forgive fully today, I should at least stop feeding the hatred. If I cannot yet love, I should at least stop poisoning the heart. If I cannot embrace, I should at least make duʿā.

This, too, is a beginning.

A Final Reflection

There is a kind of religiousness that can speak of Allah but remain harsh with people. It can quote Qur’an but refuse to forgive. It can defend the Sunnah but ignore the tenderness of Rasoolullah ﷺ. It can speak of truth while losing beauty. It can demand mercy from Allah while offering severity to everyone else.

This is not the fullness of being insān. The true insān remembers that he is weak, so he does not become arrogant. He remembers that he forgets, so he keeps returning to dhikr. He remembers that he sins, so he makes tawbah. He remembers that he needs forgiveness, so he forgives. He remembers that Allah is Gentle, so he becomes gentle. He remembers that Allah is Merciful, so he shows mercy. He remembers that Allah honored the children of Adam, so he does not humiliate them.

“I am only human” should not be a shield for the nafs. It should be a doorway to humility.

Yes, I am human.

I forget. I become weak. I become hasty. I become anxious. I become wounded.

But I am also honored by Allah.

I am guided by revelation. I am taught by Rasoolullah ﷺ. I am invited to taqwa. I am capable of tawbah. I am capable of ʿafw. I am capable of ṣafḥ. I am capable of becoming a source of uns, not waḥshah—comfort, not estrangement.

So the next time anger says, “I am only human,” let the heart answer:

Then be human in the way Allah intended.

Be the human who remembers. Be the human who repents. Be the human who restrains anger. Be the human who forgives. Be the human who loves for others what he loves for himself. Be the human through whom another heart feels safe.

And when the nafs asks, “How often must I forgive?” let the answer of my Shaykh return:

“As often as you want Allah to forgive you.”

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا، وَطَهِّرْ قُلُوبَنَا مِنَ الْغِلِّ، وَاجْعَلْنَا مِنَ الْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ، وَمِنَ الْمُحْسِنِينَ الَّذِينَ تُحِبُّهُمْ.

Allāhumma ighfir lanā wa-li-ikhwāninā, wa-ṭahhir qulūbanā mina al-ghilli, wa-jʿalnā mina al-ʿāfīna ʿani al-nāsi, wa-mina al-muḥsinīna alladhīna tuḥibbuhum.

O Allah, forgive us and our brothers and sisters. Purify our hearts from resentment. Make us among those who pardon people, and among the people of beautiful conduct whom You love.

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ بُيُوتَنَا بُيُوتَ رِفْقٍ، وَأَلْسِنَتَنَا أَلْسِنَةَ صِدْقٍ، وَقُلُوبَنَا قُلُوبَ رَحْمَةٍ، وَأَخْلَاقَنَا أَخْلَاقًا تُرْضِيكَ عَنَّا.

Allāhumma ijʿal buyūtanā buyūta rifqin, wa-alsinatanā alsinata ṣidqin, wa-qulūbanā qulūba raḥmatin, wa-akhlāqanā akhlāqan turḍīka ʿannā.

O Allah, make our homes homes of gentleness, our tongues tongues of truth, our hearts hearts of mercy, and our character pleasing to You.

آمِينَ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ.

Āmīn yā Rabba al-ʿālamīn.

وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ.

Wa-Allāhu aʿlam.