My Dear Readers,
السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكُمْ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
As-salaamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. (May the Peace, Mercy and Blessings of Allah be upon you)
بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ
الْحَمْدُ
لِلَّهِ نَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ
أَنْفُسِنَا وَسَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللَّهُ فَلاَ
مُضِلَّ لَهُ وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلاَ هَادِيَ لَهُ
وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ اللَّهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ
(See end note in the first post)
There are some teachings that appear, at first glance, as short sayings, but when opened carefully they become a whole map of religion. One such teaching may be phrased as follows:
أَوَّلُ الدِّينِ مَعْرِفَةُ اللهِ.
وَمَعْرِفَةُ اللهِ تُورِثُ حُسْنَ الخُلُقِ.
وَمِنْ أَعْظَمِ مَظَاهِرِ حُسْنِ الخُلُقِ صِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ.
وَحَقِيقَةُ الصِّلَةِ أَنْ تَجْبُرَ الخَوَاطِرَ،
وَتَرْفَعَ الكُرَبَ، وَتُدْخِلَ السُّرُورَ فِي القُلُوبِ.
“The first principle of religion is knowing Allah.
Knowing Allah gives birth to noble character.
One of the greatest expressions of noble character is maintaining family ties.
And the reality of maintaining ties is to mend hearts,
lift distress, and bring joy into hearts.”
This is not one single hadith. Nor should it be quoted as though every sentence in it comes directly from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. That would be careless. But it is a beautiful teaching arrangement, and when each part is placed under the light of the Qur’an, the Sahih hadith, and the writings of the scholars, its truth becomes clear.
The first phrase, أَوَّلُ الدِّينِ مَعْرِفَتُهُ — “The first of religion is knowing Him” — is famously found in the opening sermon attributed to Sayyiduna ʿAli ibn Abi Talib (رضي الله عنه وكرّم الله وجهه) in Nahj al-Balaghah. The sermon continues: “The perfection of knowing Him is affirming Him; the perfection of affirming Him is declaring His oneness...” It is a majestic passage, but it belongs to Islamic literature and wisdom, not to the two Sahih collections as a Prophetic hadith. (مركز الإشعاع الإسلامي)
This distinction matters. A beautiful sentence does not need to be forced into the mouth of the Prophet ﷺ in order to be valuable. Truth has ranks. The Qur’an is the Book of Allah. The Sahih hadith are the most reliable Prophetic reports. Then there are the words of the Companions, the early Muslims, the saints, the scholars, the poets, and the wise. Confusing these ranks is not reverence; it is indiscipline wearing the clothing of piety.
The first principle: Maʿrifatullah
Allah says:
وَمَا خَلَقْتُ ٱلْجِنَّ وَٱلْإِنسَ إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُونِ
“I did not create jinn and humans except to worship Me.”
(al-Dhariyat 51:56) (Quran.com)
Worship begins with knowledge. A person cannot worship Allah properly while remaining careless about who Allah is, what He loves, what He forbids, what He promises, and what He warns against. The tongue may say “Allah,” but the heart must come to know Him as Rabb, Ilah, Rahman, Rahim, Malik, Quddus, Salam, Mu’min, Muhaymin, Aziz, Jabbar, Mutakabbir.
Allah says:
وَلِلَّهِ ٱلْأَسْمَآءُ ٱلْحُسْنَىٰ فَٱدْعُوهُ بِهَا
“Allah has the Most Beautiful Names, so call upon Him by them.”
(al-Aʿraf 7:180) (Quran.com)
And in the closing verses of Surah al-Hashr, Allah unveils a series of His Names: He is Allah, there is no god but Him; Knower of the unseen and seen; the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. (Quran.com)
The Prophet ﷺ also taught us the weight of this knowledge. In Sahih al-Bukhari, Rasoolullah ﷺ said:
إِنَّ لِلَّهِ تِسْعَةً وَتِسْعِينَ اسْمًا مِائَةً إِلَّا وَاحِدًا مَنْ أَحْصَاهَا دَخَلَ الْجَنَّةَ
“Allah has ninety-nine Names, one hundred minus one; whoever knows them will enter Paradise.” (Sunnah.com)
But “knowing” here is not the knowledge of a parrot. It is not the memorization of a list while the heart remains untouched. To know al-Rahman is to know that mercy is not marginal in the life of faith. To know al-ʿAdl is to tremble before injustice. To know al-Ghafur is to repent and also to forgive. To know al-Halim is to be ashamed of one’s impatience. To know al-Karim is to loosen the fist. To know al-Latif is to become gentle in the handling of delicate souls.
This is why the Hadith of Jibril is so foundational. Jibril (عليه السلام) came and asked about Islam, Iman, and Ihsan. When he asked about Ihsan, the Prophet ﷺ said:
أَنْ تَعْبُدَ اللَّهَ كَأَنَّكَ تَرَاهُ، فَإِنْ لَمْ تَكُنْ تَرَاهُ فَإِنَّهُ يَرَاكَ
“That you worship Allah as though you see Him; and if you do not see Him, then He sees you.” (Sunnah.com)
Then Rasoolullah ﷺ explained that the questioner was Jibril, who had come to teach the people their religion. So religion is not only form, law, creed, and ritual. It is also consciousness. It is the heart living under the gaze of Allah.
The fruit of knowledge: character
Here we come to the second part of the teaching:
مَعْرِفَةُ اللهِ تُورِثُ حُسْنَ الخُلُقِ
“Knowing Allah gives birth to noble character.”
This is the safer way to express what is often circulated as:
تَخَلَّقُوا بِأَخْلَاقِ اللهِ
“Adopt the characters of Allah.”
This exact wording is often repeated in spiritual circles, but it should not be presented as an authenticated Prophetic hadith. Scholars have noted that the wording is not established as a sound hadith. Islamweb, for example, cites Ibn al-Qayyim’s statement that this phrase has no basis as a Prophetic report, though it also notes that many scholars used the expression in a broad ethical sense. (IslamWeb)
So what is the sound meaning?
It does not mean that the servant resembles Allah in His divinity. Allah is Allah. The servant is the servant. There is no comparison between the Creator and the created. The meaning is rather this: the servant learns the Names and Attributes of Allah, then adorns himself with those human qualities that Allah loves — mercy, generosity, forgiveness, patience, gentleness, justice, modesty, truthfulness, and care for creation.
Imam al-Ghazali (رحمه الله) placed this idea at the heart of his work al-Maqsad al-Asna fi Sharh Maʿani Asma’ Allah al-Husna. One of his chapters is titled: “On explaining that the perfection and happiness of the servant lie in adopting, according to what is possible for him, the meanings of Allah’s Attributes and Names.” (Shamela)
He then explains that mere hearing of the Divine Names, or merely understanding their linguistic meaning, is not the highest share. The higher share is that knowledge of the Names awakens longing in the heart, and that longing leads the servant to acquire whatever human portion of those noble qualities is possible for him. (Shamela)
This is deeply Qur’anic. The Qur’an does not simply tell us that the Prophet ﷺ brought a message. It tells us that he embodied the message:
وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَىٰ خُلُقٍ عَظِيمٍ
“And you are truly of great character.”
(al-Qalam 68:4) (Quran.com)
And Allah says:
قُلْ إِن كُنتُمْ تُحِبُّونَ ٱللَّهَ فَٱتَّبِعُونِى يُحْبِبْكُمُ ٱللَّهُ
“Say: If you love Allah, then follow me; Allah will love you.”
(Al ʿImran 3:31) (Quran.com)
To love Allah, then, is not to invent a private spirituality. It is to follow the Messenger ﷺ. And following him means far more than external imitation. It means that something of his mercy, restraint, truthfulness, patience, tenderness, courage, modesty, and concern for others must begin to appear in us.
Rasoolullah ﷺ said:
إِنَّ مِنْ أَخْيَرِكُمْ أَحْسَنَكُمْ خُلُقًا
“Among the best of you are those best in character.” (Sunnah.com)
And he ﷺ said:
لَا يَرْحَمُ اللَّهُ مَنْ لَا يَرْحَمُ النَّاسَ
“Allah will not be merciful to those who are not merciful to people.” (Sunnah.com)
Here the teaching becomes clear: if a person claims to know al-Rahman but is harsh with people, what sort of knowledge is that? If he claims to know al-Ghafur but never forgives, what has he understood? If he claims to know al-Latif but crushes those under his authority, what has entered his heart?
Knowledge of Allah that does not soften the heart is still incomplete. It may be information, but it has not yet become maʿrifah.
The great test of character: family ties
The third part of the teaching says:
وَمِنْ أَعْظَمِ مَظَاهِرِ حُسْنِ الخُلُقِ صِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ
“One of the greatest expressions of noble character is maintaining family ties.”
This is where the teaching becomes very practical. It is not difficult to speak beautifully about mercy. It is more difficult to be merciful to relatives. It is not difficult to praise forgiveness. It is more difficult to forgive the aunt, brother, cousin, parent, in-law, or sibling whose words still live inside one’s wound.
Family is the first school of character. It is also one of its hardest examinations.
Allah says:
وَٱعْبُدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا۟ بِهِۦ شَيْـًٔا ۖ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا وَبِذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ...
“Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and be kind to parents and relatives...”
(al-Nisa’ 4:36) (Quran.com)
Notice the order. The verse begins with tawhid, then moves immediately to parents and relatives. The relationship with Allah is not severed from the treatment of people. Religion is not a mist that floats above life. It descends into the kitchen, the family gathering, the inheritance dispute, the phone call, the apology, the visit, the meal, the bedside, and the graveyard.
Allah also says:
إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِٱلْعَدْلِ وَٱلْإِحْسَـٰنِ وَإِيتَآئِ ذِى ٱلْقُرْبَىٰ
“Indeed, Allah commands justice, ihsan, and giving to close relatives...”
(al-Nahl 16:90) (Quran.com)
And He praises those:
يَصِلُونَ مَا أَمَرَ ٱللَّهُ بِهِ أَن يُوصَلَ
“who join what Allah has commanded to be joined.”
(al-Raʿd 13:21) (Quranic Arabic Corpus)
The opposite is frightening. Allah says:
فَهَلْ عَسَيْتُمْ إِن تَوَلَّيْتُمْ أَن تُفْسِدُوا۟ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ وَتُقَطِّعُوٓا۟ أَرْحَامَكُمْ
“If you turn away, would you then spread corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship?”
(Muhammad 47:22) (Quran.com)
The Prophet ﷺ placed family ties beside belief in Allah and the Last Day:
مَنْ كَانَ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should maintain his ties of kinship.” (Sunnah.com)
This is not a small matter. It is connected to iman.
Rasoolullah ﷺ also said:
لَيْسَ الْوَاصِلُ بِالْمُكَافِئِ، وَلَكِنِ الْوَاصِلُ الَّذِي إِذَا قَطَعَتْ رَحِمُهُ وَصَلَهَا
“The one who maintains ties is not the one who merely returns kindness. The true maintainer is the one who, when his kinship is cut, joins it.” (Sunnah.com)
This hadith is a mirror. Many of us maintain ties with those who maintain ties with us. We call those who call us. We visit those who visit us. We invite those who invite us. That is social exchange. It is not yet the Prophetic height of sila.
The true test is when the bond has been wounded. A door has been closed. A relationship has become cold. Pride has entered. Old words have hardened into old walls. At that moment, the one who joins what has been cut is called al-wasil.
This does not mean enabling abuse, surrendering dignity, or pretending that harm is harmless. Islam is not sentimental chaos. Boundaries may be needed. Distance may be needed. But even with boundaries, there can remain salam, duʿa, non-cruelty, basic assistance, and the refusal to let hatred become one’s inner religion.
Rasoolullah ﷺ also said:
مَنْ أَحَبَّ أَنْ يُبْسَطَ لَهُ فِي رِزْقِهِ، وَيُنْسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَثَرِهِ، فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
“Whoever loves that his provision be expanded and his life-trace be lengthened, let him maintain his family ties.” (Sunnah.com)
This is barakah. Not merely more money, but blessed provision. Not merely more time, but a life whose effect continues.
The soul of sila: bringing joy into hearts
The fourth part of the teaching says:
وَحَقِيقَةُ الصِّلَةِ أَنْ تَجْبُرَ الخَوَاطِرَ، وَتَرْفَعَ الكُرَبَ، وَتُدْخِلَ السُّرُورَ فِي القُلُوبِ
“The reality of maintaining ties is to mend hearts, lift distress, and bring joy into hearts.”
The phrase إِدْخَالُ السُّرُورِ فِي قَلْبِ مُؤْمِنٍ — bringing joy into the heart of a believer — appears in various narrations outside the two Sahih collections, and scholars have differed over particular wordings and chains. Some wordings are weak, while some related reports have been graded acceptable by later scholars. Therefore, the wise student does not build the teaching on an uncertain report when the meaning itself is already firmly established by the Sahih hadith. (IslamWeb)
In Sahih Muslim, the Prophet ﷺ said:
مَنْ نَفَّسَ عَنْ مُؤْمِنٍ كُرْبَةً مِنْ كُرَبِ الدُّنْيَا نَفَّسَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ كُرْبَةً مِنْ كُرَبِ يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ
“Whoever relieves a believer of one distress from the distresses of this world, Allah will relieve him of one distress from the distresses of the Day of Resurrection.” (Sunnah.com)
The same hadith says:
وَاللَّهُ فِي عَوْنِ الْعَبْدِ مَا كَانَ الْعَبْدُ فِي عَوْنِ أَخِيهِ
“Allah is in the aid of the servant as long as the servant is in the aid of his brother.” (Sunnah.com)
In Sahih al-Bukhari, Rasoolullah ﷺ said:
وَمَنْ كَانَ فِي حَاجَةِ أَخِيهِ كَانَ اللَّهُ فِي حَاجَتِهِ
“Whoever is in the need of his brother, Allah will be in his need.” (Sunnah.com)
What is this if not the sacred art of bringing relief and joy into hearts?
Joy in Islam is not frivolity. It is not amusement without meaning. It is not the laughter that makes people forget Allah. True surur is when a person’s burden becomes lighter because you existed. A debt is paid. A meal is given. A lonely elder is visited. A frightened child feels safe. A grieving relative receives a call. A mistake is covered. A person’s dignity is preserved. A harsh word is swallowed. A door is opened. A face is met with warmth.
Rasoolullah ﷺ said:
لَا تَحْقِرَنَّ مِنَ الْمَعْرُوفِ شَيْئًا وَلَوْ أَنْ تَلْقَى أَخَاكَ بِوَجْهٍ طَلْقٍ
“Do not consider anything of goodness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.” (Sunnah.com)
A cheerful face is not a small thing. Sometimes it is the first mercy a person sees all day. A home can be made heavy by faces. It can also be made light by them. Some people enter a room and everyone becomes cautious. Others enter and everyone breathes. The difference is not wealth. It is akhlaq.
The Prophet ﷺ also said:
لَا يُؤْمِنُ أَحَدُكُمْ حَتَّى يُحِبَّ لِأَخِيهِ مَا يُحِبُّ لِنَفْسِهِ
“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Sunnah.com)
This is the inward root of idkhal al-surur. I cannot bring joy into another heart while secretly wanting only ease for myself. I cannot claim brotherhood while being indifferent to another person’s hunger, humiliation, loneliness, or fear. I cannot say “family” and then become absent whenever someone needs me.
The Qur’an says:
إِنَّمَا ٱلْمُؤْمِنُونَ إِخْوَةٌ
“The believers are but one brotherhood.”
(al-Hujurat 49:10) (Quran.com)
Brotherhood is not an idea. It is an obligation with a pulse.
The whole ladder
We may now return to the teaching:
أَوَّلُ الدِّينِ مَعْرِفَةُ اللهِ
The first principle of religion is knowing Allah.
Not knowing about Allah in a cold informational sense, but knowing Him in a way that produces awe, love, surrender, modesty, repentance, and gratitude.
وَمَعْرِفَةُ اللهِ تُورِثُ حُسْنَ الخُلُقِ
Knowing Allah gives birth to noble character.
If the knowledge is real, it will show itself. It will show itself in the voice, in the eyes, in the hand, in the way power is used, in the way anger is restrained, in the way the weak are treated.
وَمِنْ أَعْظَمِ مَظَاهِرِ حُسْنِ الخُلُقِ صِلَةُ الرَّحِمِ
One of the greatest expressions of noble character is maintaining family ties.
Because family is where our theories about mercy are tested. It is where pride, memory, expectation, and old hurt gather. It is also where a great deal of reward is hidden.
وَحَقِيقَةُ الصِّلَةِ أَنْ تَجْبُرَ الخَوَاطِرَ، وَتَرْفَعَ الكُرَبَ، وَتُدْخِلَ السُّرُورَ فِي القُلُوبِ
The reality of maintaining ties is to mend hearts, lift distress, and bring joy into hearts.
This is where religion becomes beautiful in daily life. Not only in the masjid. Not only in the book. Not only in the lecture. But in the call to one’s mother. The patience with one’s father. The kindness to one’s spouse. The gentleness with one’s child. The forgiveness of a sibling. The visit to an aunt. The quiet help to a cousin. The refusal to shame a relative publicly. The ability to repair instead of merely being right.
A final reflection
There is a kind of religiousness that becomes fascinated with abstraction. It speaks of Allah but does not become gentle. It studies tawhid but remains arrogant. It quotes hadith but wounds people with ease. It defends Sunnah but forgets mercy. It speaks of family values but carries grudges like heirlooms.
This is not maʿrifah. It is information without transformation.
The way of the Qur’an and Sunnah is different. Know Allah. Follow His Messenger ﷺ. Beautify the character. Join what has been cut. Lighten burdens. Bring lawful joy into hearts.
A person may not be able to solve every family conflict. He may not be able to heal every old wound. He may not be able to make everyone understand him. But he can still refuse cruelty. He can still make duʿa. He can still give salam. He can still help in need. He can still choose a soft word over a sharp one. He can still become, in his small portion of life, a means through which someone else remembers that Allah is Merciful.
May Allah grant us true maʿrifah, not mere speech about maʿrifah. May He adorn us with noble character. May He make us people who join ties and do not sever them. May He use us to mend hearts, remove distress, and bring joy to those around us. May He keep our tongues truthful, our hearts soft, our homes merciful, and our deeds accepted.
Aameen.
والله أعلم
Wa Allahu Aʿlam.
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